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Roping a Deer ?! A very funny story ! - - - 5 messages. Showing 1 through 5.
Joined 12/09/2004

Iceman's blogs, pictures and recent posts
Daily Subscription Msg 1 Posted: 08:59 AM 04/06/07 (CST)
Belive it or not but was enailed to me thought i'd share with the rest of you..

Rope a Deer? A very funny story!

Author unknown. He's hiding!

I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed it up on corn

for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it. The first step in this adventure was

getting a deer. I figured that since they congregated at my cattle feeder and do

not seem to have much fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes

come right up and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not

4 feet away) that it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag

over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.

I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope. The cattle, who had

seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They were not having any of it. After

about 20 minutes my deer showed up. 3 of them. I picked out a likely looking one,

stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw my rope. The deer just stood there

and stared at me. I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would

have a good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it was
mildly concerned about the whole rope situation. I took a step towards it. It took a step

away. I put a little tension on the rope and received an education.

The first thing that I learned is that while a deer may just stand there looking at you

funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action when you start pulling on that rope.

That deer EXPLODED.

The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT stronger than a

cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I could fight down with a rope with

some dignity. A deer, no chance. That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled.

There was no controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off my

feet and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having a deer

on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I originally imagined. The only up side

is that they do not have as much stamina as many animals. A brief 10 minutes later,

it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk me off my feet and drag me when I managed

to get up. It took me a few minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the

blood flowing out of the big gash in my head.

At that point I had lost my taste for corn fed venison. I just wanted to get that devil

creature off the end of that rope. I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging

around its neck, it would likely die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there

was no love at all between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the thing and

I would venture a guess that the feeling was mutual. Despite the gash in my head

and the several large knots where I had cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by

bracing my head against various large rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I

could still think clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance that I

shared some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in, so I didn't

want the deer to have to suffer a slow death. I managed to get it lined up to back in

between my truck and the feeder, a little trap I had set beforehand. Kind of like a

squeeze chute. I got it to back in there and started moving up so I could get my rope


Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years would have thought

that a deer would bite somebody so I was very surprised when I reached up there

to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my wrist. Now, when a deer bites

you, it is not like being bit by a horse where they just bite you and then let go. A deer

bites you and shakes its head.almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts. The

proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and draw back slowly. I
tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was ineffective. It seems like the

deer was biting and shaking for several minutes, but it was likely only several s econds.

I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that claim by now) tricked

it. While I kept it busy tearing the bejesus out of my right arm, I reached up with my left

hand and pulled that rope loose.

That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day. Deer will strike at you

with their front feet. They rear right up on their back feet and strike right about head

and shoulder level, and their hooves are surprisingly sharp. I learned a long time ago

that when an animal like a horse strikes at you with their hooves and you can't get

away easily, the best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive

move towards the animal. This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can

escape. This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously such trickery would not

work. In the course of a millisecond I devised a different strategy. I screamed like a

woman and tried to turn and run. The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn

and run from a horse that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit you

in the back of the head. Deer may not be so different from horses after all, besides

being twice as strong and three times as evil, because the second I turned to run, it

hit me right in the back of the head and knocked me down.

Now when a deer paws at you and knocks you down it does not immediately leave. I

suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed. What they do instead is

paw your back and jump up and down on you while you are laying there crying like a

little girl and covering your head. I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the

deer went away.

Now for the local legend. I was pretty beat up. My scalp was split open, I had

several large goose eggs, my wrist was bleeding pretty good and felt broken (it

turned out to be just badly bruised) and my back was bleeding in a few places, though

my insulated canvas jacket had protected me from most of the worst of it. I drove to

the nearest place, which was the co-op. I got out of the truck, covered in blood and

dust and looking like hell. The guy who ran the place saw me through the window and

came running out yelling "what happened"

I have never seen any law in the state of Kansas that would prohibit an individual

from roping a deer. I suspect that this is an area that they have overlooked entirely.

Knowing, as I do, the lengths to which law enforcement personnel will go to exercise

their power, I was concerned that they may find a way to twist the existing laws to

paint my actions as criminal. I swear, not wanting to admit that I had done something
monumentally stupid played no part in my response. I told him "I was attacked by a

deer." I did not mention that at the time I had a rope on it. The evidence was all over

my body. Deer prints on the back of my jacket where it had stomped all over me and

a large deer print on my face where it had struck me there.

I asked him to call somebody to come get me.I didn't think I could make it home on my

own. He did.

Later that afternoon, a game warden showed up at my house and wanted to know

about the deer attack. Surprisingly, deer attacks are a rare thing and wildlife and

parks was interested in the event. I tried to describe the attack as completely

and accurately as I could.I was filling the grain hopper and this deer came out of

nowhere and just started kicking the hell out of me and BIT me. It was obviously

rabid or insane or something.

EVERYBODY for miles around knows about the deer attack (the guy at the co-op

has a big mouth). For several weeks people dragged their kids in the house when

they saw deer around and the local ranchers carried rifles when they filled their

feeders. I have told several people the story, but NEVER anybody around here. I

have to see these people every day and as an outsider.a "city folk".I have enough

trouble fitting in without them snickering behind my back and whispering "there is the
dumb-ass that tried to rope the deer.

Lazy-Ike peb
Advanced Member
Joined 08/28/2005

Lazy-Ike peb's blogs, pictures and recent posts
Daily Subscription Msg 2 Posted: 08:05 AM 04/07/07 (CST)
man what a funny story iceman smile smiley smile smiley smile smiley catch you on the flip side

Lazy-Ike peb
New User
Joined 03/30/2007

grrbrr's blogs, pictures and recent posts
Daily Subscription Msg 3 Posted: 12:22 PM 04/12/07 (CST)
That was a fantastically funny story! smile smiley smile smiley smile smiley
I couldn't stop laughing while reading it.
Bobber Down
Joined 10/03/2005

Bobber Down's blogs, pictures and recent posts
Daily Subscription Msg 4 Posted: 12:33 PM 04/12/07 (CST)


Gotta Run

Full Member
Joined 07/26/2006

T-Bone's blogs, pictures and recent posts
Daily Subscription Msg 5 Posted: 04:45 PM 04/12/07 (CST)
that was funny!!!!! smile smiley smile smiley smile smiley smile smiley

Roping a Deer ?! A very funny story ! - - - 5 messages. Showing 1 through 5.
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