Msg 1 Posted: 06:12 PM 02/20/07 (CST)
Let's hear it for Minnesota ! |
Rules of Minnesota :
1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.
2. Let's get this straight; it's called a "gravel road." I
drive a Pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive,
you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of
3. They are cattle & fishing lakes. That's what they smell
like to you. They smell like money to us. Get over it.
4. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have
$250,000 combines that are driven only 3 times a year.
5. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being
friendly. Try to understand the concept.
6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of ducks are coming
in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand You better hope you don't
have it up to your ear at the time.
7 Yeah, we eat walleye & pike and love it. You really want
sushi & caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.
8. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's
a Religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of
9. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women,
regardless of age.
10. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order
steak. Or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the pound of ham
11. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats,
vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: Onion, Pepper, and
Garlic! Oh, yeah... We don't care what you folks in Cincinnati
call that stuff you eat... It ain't real lutefisk. And real lutefisk never met a tomato!
12. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet,
and served over ice. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she
better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.
13. College and High School Football is as important here as
the Lakers and the Knicks, and a hell of a lot more fun to watch.
14. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water
hazards--it spooks the fish.
15. Colleges? Try Minnesota Tech, MSU, MU or MSU. They come
outta there with an education plus a love for God and country, and
they still wave at passing pickups when they come for the holidays.
16. We have more folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and
Marines, than any other state, so "Don't screw with Minnesota !" If you
do, you will get whipped by the best.
17. Always remember what a great mind once said: "The United >>>>> > States wouldn't be what it is today if it had not been for Minnesota !" Minnesota is the greatest state ever!